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Cyclothymia

by Angor Animi

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1.
2.
In this empty world full of nothingness I gaze into the space and I feel only pain I'm beset by a sense of sadness I feel so anxious I feel faint I fall down just like my last hope and my dreams crumble away Please.. I need.. I need you.. At least for a moment I want to bring back my past to life I want to live through my memories again! I don't want to wake up again And come down to earth to live this agony again I don't want to hear your lies one more time I don't want to feel me alone anymore..with you by my side I don't want to live this life one day more... Emptiness.. go away! Memories.. get out of my mind! I can't take it anymore! I don't want to wake up again And come down to earth to live this agony again I don't want to hear your lies one more time I don't want to feel me alone anymore..with you by my side I don't want to live this life one day more...
3.
Your dreams are destined to break And your hopes will never see the light Every promise is..a lie No-one will be by your side when your tears begin to fall from your eyes. Every feeling you feel is another mistake that you will regret Nothing lasts forever..Nothing! Finally..I see the light what a wonderful sky.. I can feel the wind caressing my skin and the sun burning my eyes I realize only now.. I was buried alive by my own fears I was too weak..to let you go.. I was too scared..to give up on you. I no longer want to live my life hoping for something unreal wasting my time..suffering. I don't need your lies! I don't want to look into your eyes and see the emptiness you have inside. I'm no longer blinded by your darkness Now I see the light..I alive! You cannot hurt me anymore.. You're just the shadow of my past!
4.
I fix the time It passes so slowly I appear at the window but I can't see anything through... I hear the wind whispers your name, And the rain covers my face. You're not coming back It's so cold without you Without your embrace And now...Just close my eyes... My universe collapse I can't go on with your lovely reflection engraved in my memories I already knew that I wouldn't have had you forever. But it would have been better not to know that. Rivers of melancholy are flowing from my lifeless eyes. Deep paths come to life on my forgotten body. Just want to close my eyes one more time... but for the rest of my life.
5.
A sweet sound delights me it's just a whisper.. from so far away But I can recognize this voice You are calling me You want me to come to you You want me near you I follow the sweet notes of your voice I feel your presence ever closer each step, you are louder each step is faster my heart is exploding I can't see anything it's so dark here I'm scared..you are not here I can't hear you anymore I can't feel you anymore This feeling I've already felt this This sensation of being oppressed by the emptiness Looking for something you know you will never find You are calling me, again You want me to come to you You want me near you I just feel the cold walls I'm trapped..but not alone Madness..you're on my side Daydreams..my light Madness.. Don't leave me! it's so dark here I'm scared..scared to death I'm locked..with my memories my memories..my worst enemies! I have no escape! I have no way out! Please.. just take me away.. Please.. help me!
6.
This is not me. This is not the life I wanted. I want to go back to the surface Take a look Look here Only rivers of blood on my wrists Only pieces of pane in my hands I want to disappear I want to lose myself I've already lost my happiness Every part of my skin it's a fragment of the moments I've spent with you Every scar reminds me of the emotions I've felt with you Take a look Look at me Only darkness around me Only cold on my skin. I want to disappear I want to lose myself I've already lost my happiness I want to see the light again and feel the rays of sunshine caressing my skin again.
7.
Cyclothymia 06:34
A sense of glow embraces me in this endless ocean.. an ocean where my dreams my desires see the light It's a black rain on the skin, it's cutting through me to fall ashore... dirty and without pulse showing my role on this Earth that dies. I want to devour and savor every corner of this place every piece of this sky every moment of this paradise. i want to be blinded by this light that I have found thanks to you i see the lifeblood with the eyes of the undead cursing that day when i met humanity: empty pieces of flesh disgusting and stirring my senses... thanks to you It's so peaceful My mind flies away No regrets, no remorse No worries, no anger Only joy, adorable memories sweet moments..of happiness Here.. I no longer feel that I'm lost
8.
Have you ever imagined a day of serenity? Have you ever imagined to live your life for the first time? Ceasing to hide yourself behind a mask of what you want to be but you are not. Have you ever stop to think, how would be a life without lies, without worries..? Maybe i can feel it when i remember the day that one when i saw in your eyes that you were there not for going away but only to stay and now tell me.. why didn't you come before? this is all what i needed since the first time i have thought about it. You have to stop me if you are here but maybe you are not so real. I'm doing it again.. keep on thinking that you're still the one you once were. Going back to being the one I used to be with you. Failing to leave that memory of us.
9.

about

Feeling useless in front of reality, beginning to realize how much can hurt not be loved anymore by the person who made you experience some emotion in this fucking life. Not wanting to go ahead giving up hope that it is just a bad dream. Being stuck in the past, full of emotions that perhaps you won't feel anymore. Unforgettable memories that slowly kill you. Wishing to disappear in order to feel no longer rejected. This is what I wanted to convey with this album..it's a journey through the best moments of my life, turned into the most anguishing.

credits

released July 19, 2017

Recorded between 2014 and 2015.
Mixed and mastered by Déhà at HHStudios, Bulgaria (2015-2016).

Line-up:
Kjiel: Vocals, guitars and lyrics
Déhà: Additional guitars, bass, drums and production

All songs written by Kjiel.
Additional vocals on "Everlasting Lethargy" by HK and Tenebra.
Additional vocals on "Cleithrophobia" and "Cyclothymia" by HK.
Additional vocals on "Longing my Life away" by Tenebra.
Piano on "Everlasting Lethargy" and "Melanchomania" by Maylord.

Photos by Vincenzo di Biaggio
Artwork realization by Cordyceps M (East Graphics)
Artwork concept by Kjiel

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Angor Animi Pescara, Italy

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